I just finished with my first revision of my WIP. Sadly, I still haven't come up with an amazing new name for it. Looks like it may be forever known as "Finality." Maybe this time through I'll have some genius idea...
I thought (begged, really) that I would feel some relief at getting through this revision. No such luck. I feel more anxious about this project every day. I'm starting to wonder if I'll even publish it. I thought that by the time I got through with the rewrite, I would actually start liking it. Not that I don't like it, I just think it could be better. I can't really see me looking at this and thinking, "This is perfect." I wonder if this kind of thing happens a lot with writers. Regardless, I'm going to get it as sparkly as possible before my June deadline and then it will be getting published and set up on Amazon.com.
Another thing I did with the finish of this revision was send it to two friends that are also writers. They agreed to be my betas. I will have to find a way to repay them for this amazing deed. I don't know what it will be, but something will have to be done.
So, for the last few days, I have been glued to my laptop. I have jumped between editing and feeling guilty that I haven't been editing. My computer has this adorable little application on it called Sticky Notes. Quite literally, you get a little thing that looks like your standard yellow sticky note that you can type something on and leave it on your desktop. I have been taking full advantage. My first note to myself was "Why aren't you editing? You should be?" Thus the guilt. Nobody guilts me like I do. My most recent note? "Is the MS done yet?" Yeah, I might be a little hard on myself.
Anyway, back to my original point. I find that this isn't going to be an easy path for me. I'm hoping that in the future, things will be easier, but I'm seriously doubting it. The realist in me knows that the business of being an author is more often met with failure than success. Then again, if everyone that wrote a book was published, people may not be as willing to read. Here's to the practice of becoming better at my desired path and to all the others who aspire to see their name on a bookshelf someday.